You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
pray to the hookup gods
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
