I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
