But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I want to fling myself into the sun
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
