dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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