i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
