Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
