just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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