I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So much rum. So many feels.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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