I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize