somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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