help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
