So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
