i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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