no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
