Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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