He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
