My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
