Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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