This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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