You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
