he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize