I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
