But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
