i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
