do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
