I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
