So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize