This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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