Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize