I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
