there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
