Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
