She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
