Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
