Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
