On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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