i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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