Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
