Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
