i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
