i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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