Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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