I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
