I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
