He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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