so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm at about main and main street
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
