hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
