It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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