I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
