He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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