The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
