Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Blood and glitter go together right?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
