I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
