Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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