i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm both gender and math confused
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
