this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
