she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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