im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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