hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
