as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
