Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
