Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
