We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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