pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
