ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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