Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
