i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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