There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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